To view the article below on the NPR site, click the following link:
'Sex Without Condoms' Prompts Heated Debate
Thursday, as part of Day to Day's series "What's the New What," Pendarvis Harshaw, a teen who grew up in Oakland offers his own provocative take on the California relationship dream. "Sex without condoms is the new engagement ring," he suggested in an on-air essay. Among his friends and acquaintances, ditching the condoms for other forms of birth control like the pill, signifies taking monogamy to a new level; partners are required to trust each other completely at the risk of getting an STD. Given that few of his friends in their late teens are thinking much about marriage, this transforms a prophylactic into a relationship sign-post along the lines of an engagement ring.
When I read this, I wanted to scream. Our children are searching in the dark for love and finding Pandora’s Box. Sex without a condom is the new engagement ring? Are you serious? Guess the guys are getting off cheap since the most expensive condom is about a dollar!!! These kids need a lesson about serial monogamy… even though you think you are taking your relationship to the next level, and you are trusting your partner… do you trust all the partners they’ve been “monogamous” with in the past? And what does monogamy really mean to these kids… what’s the time limit? When does the timer go off to tell you that you can stop using a condom? Are you monogamous when you are exclusively dating for 2 weeks… 1 month? So let’s say you are monogamous with someone for 1 month… and you are at that magic level of trust to not use a condom… then you break up and you start to date someone else exclusively… for 2 weeks… for 4 weeks… you’re now a serial monogamist!!!
It’s high school people!! The concept of Time for kids is completely different than ours as adults. I look at my husband and say I can’t believe we’ve been together for 9 years it seems much shorter than that! Kids say… I have to wait a WHOLE HOUR before I can have that? So they’re idea of a “long-term” relationship is totally skewed. They’ve only been on the planet for 16 years, and have only had raging hormones for 5 years, how long-term can it be?
Where is the responsibility aspect of a sexual relationship and why aren’t we all talking about ALL of these things with our kids? An Abstinence Only education is ridiculous; we need to have a well rounded education process and parents need to clue in by talking to their kids. I’m yelling from this soap box… CAN ANYONE HEAR ME??????
Love Well. Love Wisely.