i have a few words of advise here . not from experience but from knowing the charachter of people.
1) you have to test the milk before you buy the cow
2) if you dont have sex before you marrry the guy/girl they coudl be extremly bad in bed, and what if they cant even get it up? youd spend your whole life having horrible sex. and in some cases horrible sex leads to a very messsy and pricey divorce!
3) when you do have sex before marriage youd be experienced enough to know if that perosn would be good in bed or not and youd know your way around instead of beeing embarased by not knowing what to do with yourself (i guess it happends).

hoenstly im not down with the whole waiting for marriage thing becuase first of all im not religious and second of all, from the list above. and third of all im young and i wanna ahve a good time now. and of corse to be responsible about it :) sex is natural and seoriusly i think religon tottaly surpresses that. we should be proud of it not ashamed.

I think that it's stupid to judge your own husband/wife on their sexual abilities. Of course you married themfor other reasons that are more important. Having sex without love is pointless and humiliating.

I guess if you were religious, there'd be many MANY more reasons other that what I've said all together about abstinence.

yeah i guess if i were religoius id be like everyone else and corrupted by a book, that some dude wrote probly in their spare time.

abstinance is a good thing dont get me wrong but you still gotta taste the milk before you buy the cow. its more logical that way.

honestly, i can see where saroin is coming from, i never thought sex should be such a big deal, if you are with someone and you two decide to have sex then you should go right ahead, but after what ive been through that is the wrong way to look at it. sure you are young and you just want to have fun while you still can, well i used to have that point of view as well and you can see where that got me, im a teenager who is a single mother. you can have fun with your partners in ways that dont involve sexual contact. and the whole "experience" thing is just hilarious, how do you actually know when you are experienced? after one partner? three? six? no one is ever truly experienced in bed, everyone is different, dont give yourself to anyone who will have a taste, so yeah ive always thought waiting til marriage is stupid, but its honestly the best idea and no its not some religious thing either. Teen pregnancy is not some rare thing anymore and thinking that it couldnt happen to you is just plain stupid, sometimes being "responsible" is never enough when you are having sex at such a young and stupid age. Yes, having sex when you are still called a kid is just ridiculous, if I knew what I know now, I wouldnt be a mother. And if some guy says he loves you just so that you two can get "closer" then tuly he doesnt, a real boy would have enough respect for a girl to not want to get in her pants. trust me, sex is never a good thing, it changes the way people think and it can take away your life quicker than anything.

taylor731, your post really got to me. it is really true that guys will do and say anything to get into your pants.
im bisexual and i really lean towards girls more lately becuase they are more emotional and they do lay it all out on the table instead of sneeking around and trying to only acomplish sex and not a relationship.
im still a virgin, im one of the few left in my grade (really sad i know) i do think that relationships now are overated becuase there not going to go anywhere, im only 17 and im not planning on getting married any time soon.
also with the whole sex thing when the time comes which im hopeing sometime this summer (honeslty i want to get it over and done with) i know your first tie for most people is really awkaward and yes i know it can change people ive seen it happen with a lot of my guy friends, the first time they get laid they turn into these sex hungry monsters. it can be really scary.
anyways with sex, of corse ill protect myself. theres no way id want some guy to give me some werid sort of disease down under. and also theres no way id want to end up with a kid not to mention get a painful abortion.
so thanks :) i really appreciate your comment it made a lot more sence than anything else really.

Check out the book, "The Death of the Grown-up" by Diana West. It's a good read about how society's mindset regarding this subject has changed over the years.

Why should one have to test the milk before buying the cow? Why set the bar so low? We encourage others to excel academically and athletically. So why would we believe the gold standard in this arena is only to follow the herd? When is horrible sex a leading cause in divorce? (I know what you wrote, but this is your implication, Saroin420.) Deciding someone's marriage ability based on their lack of experience in the physical intimacy department seems very superficial. That would be like an electrician tossing out his apprentice because the apprentice was inexperienced. The whole point of an apprenticeship is to learn the trade. Likewise, marriage was created to be the place where we learned how to be physically intimate.

Proud and not ashamed. But why should there be shame in this arena? Why would married partners make each other feel ashamed in this context? Being young and having a good time. Being young and married means you can have the best time! If you follow God's plan for physical intimacy, then you don't have to worry about STDs or the shame of children out of wedlock or one night stands.

gods plan. im not religous so that rule doesnt involve me. there is no god. im not sure if youve noticed but if there really was a god do you really think that theid set us up in this hell hole of a planet ? if they really cared about us do you really think that they would make such an emotion as anger? jeeze woman. lol. religoin is a waste of time, and makes people hate eachother. you always bring it to the table no matter what in every comment you post unless its something that actualy requires your true colours to shine through.

i dont know the tally up of why people get divorced but if its really that bad it can lead to divorce. a bad sex life cant be good for anyone. lol really.
like lets say the guy cant even get it up for a second. then youll be on your own for sometime and your sex life would be out the window. wow how fun is that.
so really yeah test the milk before buying the cow. becuase you dont know what the hell your gonna eend up with otherwise.

You say "Why would you be eager to have sex with someone you aren't committed to and in love with?"

First part isn't difficult: it's a natural inclination and feels good, and can be a pleasurable way of bonding with another human being.

As for the second part, why do you assume that you can't be committed and in love with someone but not ready to marry and dedicate your life to them. Relationships have many different levels of intimacy. If you're talking about one-night-stands, yeah, they're probably not the best bet. But within a relationship sexual intimacy can be a rewarding form of expression, joy, sharing and fun.

Of course it's natural, but it must be used within certain boundaries. Feels good. That still doesn't give us an excuse to wipe away all the boundaries. A ********* thinks physical intimacy with a child feels good. Does it make it right?

Assuming. You're missing the point. Individuals can "feel" they are in love with someone. But when you poll them as to finding out what love is, you'll get all kinds of definitions, thus opening the door to the relativism argument. Again, we see the need for clear definitions because with out them, anarchy reigns and nobody knows where to draw any lines on anything. Levels. Are you sure there are different levels of intimacy or are there different interpretations of the definition of intimacy? One night stands. You said probably. This indicates you're not sure. I'm reading a Dean Koontz book now in which the villain believes one-night stands are the best thing. It means he can get the girl alone, have some fun and then kill her. What's the difference between your fluid definition and his? Why would one view be better than the other? If everybody's opinion is equal, then who cares? There is no right and wrong; it's all relative.

okay so i haven't checked this in a while so i didn't get to read all of your comments but i've read most of them and they are mostly the same so i'll add this; the point of waiting until marriage for sex is to fight temptation and gain self-control of our bodies. Also it's not a bad idea and makes a lot of sense. If I come apon the perfect man and marry him, we will sleep together. I'm not saying that sex is bad, it's just used in a wrong way. It is supposed to be pleasurable and whatnot but also symbolistic, a sign of two people's love for eachother.

okay now that i can agree with.

ofcourse it's possible.
& ofcourse its better, and makes the meanng of sex more special than mere pentration.
However, it all comes down to the individuals.
Sex, like most of the things in life, does need practice.
Yes, you can practice on one individual for the rest of your life.
Nevertheless, some people do want a more zealous, and 'multi-cultured' sexual life.
With this i dont mean going around sleeping with dozens.
to some people, sex is within the path to finding that one person they want to share their life with.
teen sex is scary though.. & it progressed so quickly in such a short time.

i hate the way sex became so meanigless.
its more than just pentration.
where did the spiritual meaning go?
the beauty?
the magic?
i find it sad.

in many ways i agree with you.
im 17, and when i first entered highschool nobody was a virgin.. well atleast most of the girls werent. and i was only 15 at the time. I agree how its really sad how girls put themselves out there like whores to get a guys attention.
As i said, im 17, i just lost my virginity this summer. and im glad i lost it to the guy i did. becuase he really means a lot to me and hes not like alot of guys who just want sex and leave you.
unfortunatly i made a stupid decision and had sex with one of my other guy friends. it made me realize from that one time that its stupid to go around and sleep with as many guys as possible because then it will have abosultly no meaning anymore. then what are you left with ?

I Will be honest , Im 28 and had sex way before marriage which I now partly regret simply because I feel if I had of saved myself for my husband that we wouldn't have some of the issues we have - then again if I hadn't gotten pregnant with my son then I would have never ended the relationship I was in with his father , there for I would have probably not met my husband whom is by far the best man in the world.