Q: Your significant other wants to add people in the bedroom. So what do you do?

Step 1: Think it over, know your boundaries and stick to them.

Step 2: Talk About It.
Talking about sex can be a touchy issue for some people, but it needs to be done to make sure you’re safe. Be up front and direct about your feelings and what you feel comfortable doing now. If you are feeling a little embarrassed or shy, take heart - most people feel that way in this kind of situation, so don't let that hold you back.

• Approach your partner privately. It’s best to talk privately with your partner before taking a big step like adding another person to the bedroom, rather than regretting it all afterwards.
• Choose a time and place. It is best that you are both relaxed and comfortable before anything happens.
• Start off on a positive note. Let your partner know that you really care about him or her and that's why you want to talk.
• Clarify any confusion you may have. Once you’ve initiated the conversation there are important questions to make sure you address:
  • Who will you be bringing into your bed?
  • What emotional role will they be playing in the relationship?
  • At what point is it considered cheating?
  • Is this person STD free?

It's possible that your partner might not want to listen to your concerns, and in that case you need to decide whether having sex with this person is worth the risk they are asking you to take.

Step 3: Be Safe

• Make Sure Everyone Is Tested For STDs
  It’s a good idea to have everyone that will be involved tested for any possible STDs . Most STD symptoms are hard to detect, and you may not even know that you have one. Bringing it up may be uncomfortable now, but it’s a whole different story when you find out you’ve been contracting & transmitting potentially life threatening diseases to people you care about. So be sure to ask your doctor to be tested or find a center near you to make sure that you and your partner(s) are well informed about your situation before you have sex.
• Take Steps To Prevent Pregnancy
  A lot of people choose to prevent pregnancy by using the Pill, Patch or Shot. But the only way to protect yourself against STDs is to use a condom every time you decide to have sex.

Most importantly, remember: You make the rules! If at anytime, you change your mind it's always okay to hold off.

More questions? Visit These Other Resources For More Information
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