Thus far, I still havent found it. The confidence I seemed to obtain, I am now lacking. The morals I'd once clung to so dearly have been seethed as I look back in regret. It's good to know the things that, few and far between, have ever ment anything to me, I have walked all over like my kitchen floor.  Not long ago, I was a strong believer of abstinence, pro-life and a plethora of other morals and aspects. Whereas today, I'm writing to youas a cry for help and a last resort for an alternative to honeing in on the fact that I'm restlessly waiting for the results of a store-baught pregnancy test and that, if it reads posative, I am contemplating weatther or not I would ever be forgiven for getting an abortion (which is, in my opinion, MURDER). Now, all I am left with is a vacant glass of self respect. Obviously, nothing thus far has utterlyI sparked my intrest (not that i even understand what i am in search of).  I am not looking for anyone to feel pitty for me, nor am i trying to be depressing or "emo." Which brings me to my entire purpose of writing this: Knowing how it feels to be on the verry verge of self distruction, I pray for you, who ever you may be, just wait. Because sure, sex was great, but it is a minor pleasure opposed to this magnitude I am expierencing now. I knew the consequences of having sex, yet I monotinously, selfishly and foolishly ignored them. These days, only two things on the face of this planet matter to me. Currently, one would be the death of me. I had dreams of becoming a writer or an artist of some sort but my entire existance depends on the 50% chance of what may appear on this pregnancy test. Please pray for me and the other millions of teenage girls who regret what they have become. What I think I am in search of is guidance, prayers (if at all possible), and someone to wait with me for the world to end.