i am very proud of you thats great. i hope you keep it up and just know that if you ever need to talk or ever have a bad slip i will be here to talk to you.

thank you :)

how is life going? i hope things are still lookin good for you and your sobriety.

pretty good.
im just going through some things right now like depression becuase it did make me depressed. but i know ill get over it.
i just see things so much different now. like how stupid drugs really are.

Sweetheart, just to be safe, you should still see a drug counsellor. You feel good now about your decision but what happens when your emotions are on the low end of life's roller coaster? I'm not being negative, just realistic. I work in the legal system, as you know, and see this kind of thing all the time. People profess that they will stay clean forever in front of the judge or after a bad incident with drugs; but at some point in time they come to a bump in the road, and the only way they know how to get rid of that bad feeling is to self-medicate. You need to be taught skills for how to work through your life situations w/o resorting to the quick and easy measures -- again, without resorting to the quick and easy measures. Remember, numbing your pain is not the same as fixing what's broken.

Again, I'm writing this out of genuine concern for you. Your last line gives the reader the implication that you are battling this from an ill-equipped angle. I know we've had our heated debates, but please trust me when I say you are in a cycle right now that will not end well. I've seen it so many times and recognize it plain as day. You feel great now up on that mountaintop, but when you come down (and you will b/c everyone eventually does) you need the tools to fight that urge to use again. Tell that thought in your head "It won't happen to me" to shut up. Every single addict goes through it. You are not alone, and there is a wealth of support networks out there for you. If you don't listen, then you will end up in front of a judge or dead from an overdose. I pray you will only end up in court if you don't get help on your own.

Bottom line, if you don't have accountability to follow up your new "Just say no" mantra, then it means nothing. You'll spin your wheels again soon...

I know i can stay away from drugs, all drugs no matter what shape or form.
it screws me up all the time. not only phyisicaly chanigng, or internaly, it changes me mentaly. each time i do drugs i see the world differently and that scares me becuase i dont want that. yes things in the world change but when do you do drugs it makes me think of all the things negative in life. not only do i have problems with that being sober, but it times it by 100. Drugs make me have suisidal thoughts, they make me depressed, they make me depressed for months afterwords. after that scary trip when i broke down, i dont even drink that much anymore. i dont drink that much anymore because i dont see the point in it. i dont need drugs or alchoul anymore. and its kinda irnoic becuase im turning 18 in four mounths and in canada 18 is the legal drinking age. i dont see the need to go to the bar. maybe ill go to the bar but i dont want to get "shitfaced" or "fucked up". i just wanna have maybe a good buzz but thats where i draw the line. but even that i dont need.
i dont even like to go to parties anymore. i think its stupid because everyone just goes there to get, as my friends like to call it, fucked up. i hate those words becuase to me having absoutlly no control over your body and nearly blacking out isnt a fun time. and its serious. it has seroius health risks.
its been a hard couple weeks for me becuase everyday is a constant battle for me on the inside. atleast once a day i have negative thoughts. which lead to suisidal thoughts which leads to me freaking out and reality hitting me hard. and then thats when i get really bad anxiety. however i want to do this on my own and learn this on my own because ill learn more out of it.
its also hard for me becuase none of my friends but one can relate to me. and i dont want to bother it with him every single time i think like this becuase its well unfortuantly a lot.
i know it will pass and its just my body getting rid of the drugs but its really hard for me to handle this. i just wnat these thoughts to go awaay.
okay im gonna make this a two parter because its getting pretty long.

part two, another thing i know that alot of people face this atleast once in their life however their not talking about it and there not opening up about it which makes it even harder for the rest of the poplulation becuase it makes us feel "not normal" or like soemthing is seroiusly wrong. and i know when it boils down to it the thing that everyone is getting away from with drugs and alcohoul is themselves. they arent happy people and they dont love themselfs and they dont know what else to do becuase nobody is talking about it unfortunatly.

because if people would talk about stuff like this normally we wouldnt feel so werid and alone. but i know everyones scared of it beucase its scary to even think about.


uhh anyways bottom line, im never doing drugs again even weed i dont see the point in it. i think its stupid and nothing good comes out of it.
i now see why those straight edge people dont do drugs becuase you look and act like a total douchebag when you do drugs.
you might seem cool for the first couple times but afterwords thats when the reality of it kicks in.

i havent done drugs that many times but im glad i learned fast before i got in way too deep.

sweetie not everyone goes through this i have many friends who never drank or druged and other ones who drink but to an extream. i can tell you you are not alone though just the sooner you realize that maybe you are an alcoholic and addict and get help things will keep going well once this pink cloud wears off

im not an alcohulic or an addict. i even stay away from alcohul lately because i dont need it anymore. and drugs, im never going near that and i can say that with just as much confidence or even more than somone whos never done drugs.
its so stupid.
its made me so depressed its been such a hard couple weeks. but im getting over it.

i see alot of hope in you but i just want to say something and that is that i read all your posts on this and if you are not willing to give up all drugs and alcohol hun it will come back to haunt you because they all lead you to self-destruction but you are young and have a full life ahead of you and i truelly hope that you will stay clean and sober and work on yourself cause you have alot to look forward too and you have come to realize your problem at such a young age it is a very grateful oppurtunity for you to seize!!!!

its all in my past, and i say that with more confidence than i ever have.
however drinking... lol well its good to get drunk once in a while, or maybe a couple times in a month. however its not going to have a major effect on me because i learned at a young age of how to control the alchoul and for it not to take control of me.
and yes i have a huge confiendnece in myself i havent done drugs in months. and it will continue that way.