No doubt many of you first learned of Virginia Tech one year ago, after the massacre that took the lives of 32 of our students and faculty as well as the gunman. It was the deadliest shooting in US history and our immobilizing devastation was felt around the world as the nation joined us in mourning this unspeakable loss. Today is the one year anniversary of the tragedy, and April 16 is as much a part of our lives today as it was a year ago. It will be with us forever.

It will be with us forever, and yet what we remember of April 16 will change as the years pass.

I remember Caitlin Hammaren. She was so beautiful – hers was the kind of beauty that would light-up a room. I first met Caitlin at orientation for sorority recruitment. She was rushing and I was her guide; her mentor. Our group met outside of the campus library. It was blistery cold and pouring rain and she was one of the very few women in our group who had brought an umbrella. There were more than 20 of us and only three umbrellas, but she wouldn’t move until all our heads were covered – even if it meant she herself would be soaked. That was the kind of person Caitlin was.

Caitlin genuinely loved people, she looked out for everyone.  She was kind without being naïve. Strong but modest. Her heart was in everything she did.  A high school honors student, she came from New York to Virginia Tech where she majored in both International Relations and French. Caitlin was a leader – by all accounts it was in her blood. As a sophomore she mentored her peers as one of the resident advisors (RAs) to the Residential Leadership Community. She was later inducted into the National Residence Hall Honorary, an organization that recognizes only the top 1 percent of residence hall leaders. To those that knew her this achievement came as no surprise. She cared so much for her residents that she is said to have cared for them “as if they were her own children.”

Brittany, one of Caitlin’s residents, fondly remembers her smile. She recalls that “every time she smiled it made everyone’s day better…she always had a smile.” Brittany said that she can still remember what Caitlin was wearing, the last thing she said, and what she looked like the last time she saw her smile.

She was a leader at the university, an activist in the community, and a friend to all who knew her.  Caitlin Hammaren defined Virginia Tech’s motto: Ut Prosim – “That I May Serve”.

Caitlin was fatally shot during her Monday morning French class on April 16, 2007. She was not yet 20 years old.  

As we mourn our tremendous loss on this, the one year anniversary of the massacre that took the lives of Caitlin and 32 others, many of us are overcome by emotions.

Some of us feel anger. Anger at the killer. Anger at the media for their flood of camera flashes which seemingly delight at the sight of a tear.

Some feel sadness. Sadness at the loss of friends, family, loved ones. Sadness at the loss of the innocence of the college experience. Sadness at the tragedy which others will use to define our school for many years to come.

Some feel fear. Fear that a mass murder like this could happen again – because it did, only two months ago at Northern Illinois University.

Some feel proud. Proud of the way we have come together to support each other. Proud of the way we’ve risen above much of the anger, sadness and fear allowing these 32 lives to define this day.

We say “Live for 32.” And we intend to do just that. Caitlin Hammaren is my 4/16. Her beautiful smile will one day mark this anniversary for me – replacing the anger, sadness and fear with admiration, love and remembrance.

Watch as Virginia Tech Hokies discuss their experiences in the wake of the Virginia Tech Tragedy and how they are living for the 32 victims.