By Max Mintz, 18, Sex, Etc.

Guys, it looks like we're doing a good job. Condom use is up and teen pregnancy rates are down, and for the first time, we are partially responsible for this change. The National Campaign to Prevent Pregnancy reports that more of us are using condoms, we're waiting longer to have sex, and when we do, we're having sex with fewer people. Way to go!

So, what's up with this change in our behaviors? When did guys decide to step up to the plate to help prevent teen pregnancy? I asked a few good buddies from my high school in New Jersey what they thought about these statistics. And I was pleasantly surprised to find out that their attitudes matched the findings by the National Campaign. Guys really do have a new attitude about their responsibility in sexual matters, or at least the ones who run in my circle do.

Delaying Sex

According to a study released this year by the National Campaign called "It's a Guy Thing: Boys, Young Men, and Teen Pregnancy Prevention," slightly less than half of 9th-12th grade boys reported having had sexual intercourse in 2003; that's a 16% decrease since 1991 when 57% were sexually active. And the top reason that teen boys gave for not having sex was religion and morals.

Who knew!?

My friend, Dan, 18, agrees, "I'm not going to have sex until I'm married; that's my personal decision. I'm very religious, and that is a major factor in my decision to wait."

But Dan adds, "If I was going to have sex, there's no way I'd ever do it without a condom. There's just too much responsibility associated with fatherhood. I want to save having kids until I'm ready to settle down; they're a huge responsibility."

Using Condoms

It looks like we've finally gotten at least one simple message through our heads: condoms prevent pregnancy. More than two-thirds of teen boys report using a condom the last time they had sex.

While the study says it is true that guys have casual sex more often than girls, that gap has been narrowing in recent years. And guys are still more likely to slap on a condom than in previous years. According to the National Campaign, we're using condoms because we don't want to get HIV, and we really don't want to be fathers at an early age.

"Sex isn't always a huge deal," says my buddy Chuck, 17. "Sometimes you just want to fool around with someone. As long as you're not cheating on someone, you can have fun. But you have to use a condom."

So, guys we're doing well, and we're on the right track, but we're not completely there yet. I don't know about you, but 820,000 unplanned teen pregnancies a year still seem like too many.

Moving into the Future

So, what can we do to make those rates go down even more?

I believe we need to change the double standard about sex that exists between guys and girls, for one thing. Guys often receive the message from adults that sex is not a big deal. Girls definitely don't get the same message.

Chuck says, "When my parents talked to me, all they said was 'Protect yourself and be safe.' There was no talk of abstinence. My dad said, 'I can't stop you, go have fun. There are condoms in the truck. Help yourself.'"

Chuck's experience is pretty typical, according to the National Campaign. It reports that parents are more likely to discuss sex with their daughters than with their sons. And, if they do discuss it with their sons, they do it with a 'wink and nod' kind of attitude.

Another thing we should change is poor sex ed in schools, including abstinence-only programs. While the study indicates that most guys ages 12-19 believe you should wait to have sex until you're out of high school, there is still an enormous amount of pressure on guys to have sex to prove their manhood. If we learn about all of our options, we can be prepared no matter what.

"In my health class," Chuck continues, "they just said, 'sex is bad'; there wasn't nearly enough useful information. The teacher just made us take down notes, and there was very little class participation."

My friend Matt, 18, agrees, "[In my health class] there was no information on where to get condoms, and my teachers were in denial about what was actually going on."

Dan adds, "Sex is presented as a single-sided thing, but we need to talk about what happens to the other person. Both partners need to understand what the other person is feeling. We need to understand the responsibilities behind sex."

He's absolutely right. We need better sex ed, a freer, more open flow of information and less contradictory messages to girls and guys. Most of all, we need teachers and parents to trust us to make good decisions, and to trust us with our own lives. With all of that happening, we can get those unplanned teen pregnancy rates down to zero!

Max Mintz 18, of Metuchen, NJ, is a contributor to Sex, Etc., the national magazine and Web site written by teens, for teens, published by Answer at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey.

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